Poetry and the Gospel(continued)

So I used to want to have a great Gospel experience.  I wanted t see big and significant things happen in someone's life.  I wanted this because I wanted people to encounter God and because I wanted to see my Creator do his thing in a big way.  So what do you do?  You put yourself in an extreme
situation, right?  And you take some big risks, right?  Well, here is one instance where I tried that:

November 5

My world was shaken today as I sat in Williams Park in downtown St. Petersburg. This park is always busy because it is a bus transit center. There are those who choose to ride the bus and those who have no other choice. They all walk through the park. Some stopping to rest and some who seem to spend the whole day there. The poor congregate and fellowship in Williams Park. I met an older guy there. After having a brief conversation with him, I asked what he needed. He said a couple of dollars. Easy. Although, I only had one dollar I gave it to him. After that I asked what else and before he could answer I suggested he let me tak

e him to lunch (how awkward is that...we just met). Even though he told me he hadn't eaten, he declined the offer and said he needed to wait for his friend. I said ok. And then there was an awkward silence.
This is where my world was a little shaken. I realized that I had nothing to say because I had a list of ways in which I could be of help to Tony. I could give money, food, and maybe refer him to a place where he could get help. After that, what could I do.
Tony broke the silence by saying that he saw his friend and then politely excused himself.
I felt like a failure. Not because I couldn't take him out to lunch but because I had failed to realize that the needs of the poor are so far from my world. After money and something to eat did I even have anything else to offer Tony? Isn't that the basic starting point in helping the poor. Not in this case. It was just awkward.
Some questions that are on my heart now are:
Shouldn't Tony have a say in what he needs before I make list in my mind?
Shouldn't I just try to be a friend first instead of trying to get him to fit into my expectations?
Why didn't I start with Jesus? How do you do that anyway?
Isn't Tony a person not a charity case?
I learned that He was. Thanks for teaching me Tony and sorry for being a crappy example of Jesus.
Thanks for teaching me that poverty cannot be solved without listening to the poor. I pray that God keeps shaking me until my ignorance falls off.

Poetry and the Gospel

If you asked a poet how does she prepare to recite a poem, depending on the poet, you may get a lot of different answers.  If we focused on spoken word poets you would still get a pretty diverse amount of responses.  The poet who performs anticipates a lot.  She anticipates the crowd, its demographics and its tastes.  She anticipates what the crowd will be familiar with and what they will respond to.  The poet has to adjust, if possible, to racial, age and economic differences that vary from crowd to crowd.  Their content does not change but good poets can deliver their words in a way that can best feed the ears in front of them, even when their words may cause an ear ache.  This takes preparation. 

Performance poets also recite and memorize their pieces until it naturally roles off their tongues and they don't have to think about the words but rather concentrate on the other 90 percent of their communication, their body language.  When this happens the performance becomes a better physical representation of the unseen passion and inspiration of the heart that the piece was written with.  Visualizing the performances, practicing in front of the mirror, holding a comb as a stand-in for the microphone...this is preparation.  Though this is not a standard list or an exhaustive list (really just a few things I've learned from other poets and a bit of my own habits), the point is that preparation happens and it is what any poet must do to perform well and give their piece the proper representation.  A poet prepares so that listeners can receive the full beauty of their piece.
As a Christian I love the gospel, I love the story of Jesus and the potent ways in which it can enter into the hearts of those who don't know Him.  As a poet I am amazed by a story that is meant to be beautifully told but also beautifully lived.  It is the greatest poem I know.  It is alive.  The Gospel is eternities poetic song to the heart of the world.  But I find myself giving the Gospel less than it deserves.  I sometimes offer a weak, dull gospel that betrays every creative bone in my body.  There is fear, nervousness and doubt that is felt when you are in conversation and sense the need for the the story of Jesus to be shared.  It is that moment where a joke is said or a small injustice is done and you know that you have to be the Gospel in that moment.  You have to be Jesus in the moment.  You have to make the story His.  It is a pinch of paralysis that causes hesitation and in some cases a flawed reasoning for not sharing the Gospel. Is the problem a lack of preparation?

Good poets prepare.  Good story tellers prepare.  Good preachers prepare.  But how do you prepare to share the Gospel?  It is a beautiful challenge that I have not answered fully yet.  But as a poet, the best practice I've ever done for a poem is the last time I recited it.  What I mean is that the best practice for a poet is the actual performance.  That is the only place where you can deal with the actual pressure of the moment.  Maybe this is the key.  Maybe I will not fully learn how the Holy Spirit works until I am in the pressure of the moment.  I've shared the Gospel before but rarely did I intentionally prepare for it.  Seems kind of odd to prepare to do something the Lord commands us to do.  Maybe He knew that life needs more than poets in preparation.  Maybe he knew that in order for true change to occur that there is no preparation that will properly prepare you other than living and speaking the Gospel.  I mean, how do you really prepare to speak words and live a life that launches an assault against the gates of Hell, grabs the attention of heaven and pierces mind, body, heart and soul.  I have a feeling you just jump in and go for it and allow the Holy Spirit to do its thing.  

Of all the poems I've prepared, recited, heard and reheard, they have not been nearly as memorable or transformative as the words received in the real-time moments of life.  I remember my mom saying "can I have your hands" because she wanted me to know that I was beautifully made when I was young.  I remember the irritated words of my brother when he let me borrow a substantial amount of money to take care of an immature mistake.  He said, "Here man!"  These words and words like these have remained closer to my heart than any poetic line I've encountered.  And there was no prep.
I believe that the prep and performance of the Gospel is one.  They cannot be separate.  

Let's see what happens when Isaiah 58 is taken seriously.    

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter —
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

I anticipate beauty....to be continued.
 

Hurry up to be still…the only way to gaze at Jesus

You remember the story about Peter walking on water.  That dude was out of his mind!  It went something like this.  Jesus sends the disciples across a lake so that he could pray.  Later, when he was ready to meet back up with the disciples the boat was a considerable distance from the shore so Jesus decides to walk to them on the water.  When he gets to them, he says what you would say if you met your friends while walking on water: “Take courage.  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”  If I am on the boat, this is about the time I would most likely jump ship but Peter had something else in mind.   He wanted Jesus to prove that he was Jesus and not a ghost.  Now, there are any number of things that Peter could have asked Jesus to do in order to prove himself.   He could have asked Jesus to name his mother, or asked Jesus about a secret that he had shared with him.  For that matter, it’s Jesus, so he could have asked him to share a secret that he could not have known.  But Peter asked Jesus something much more profound.  He says, “Lord, if it’s you, “tell me to come to you on the water.”  It is a statement that basically says, if it is you, Jesus, allow me to do what you are doing.  Call me into a place where I can only depend on you.  Show me that you can bend physics itself.  Make me like you.
Since moving to St. Petersburg it has been at the center of my heart to influence change, to bring Jesus to every corner of the campus as well as my neighborhood.  I want to see the kingdom delivered in powerful ways.  I want to be like the one who called me out here.  With this heart I also know that there are disciples who have been here longer than me.  They are those whose faith have been a witness to God’s love for the poor.  They are those whose prayers, tears, efforts and lives go before me.  And in them I see Jesus.  So what should I do?  We are out of the boat, Jesus is in front of us, and we are sure it is him because we are standing on the waters. This is a critical question for a missionary in a new place.  After we’ve made the leap out of the boat, after we have taken the big risk of going to a foreign place, what is our next steps.
I feel the pull of God asking me not to become my own wave.  My next step is to keep looking at Jesus.  When Peter was walking on water it says that “when he saw the wind he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!“  Of course Jesus saves him and as he pulls him up Jesus says “You of little faith, why did you doubt”.
After learning a little about the history of St. Petersburg and about a few of the pioneers who have been important figures to the south side, I realized that I needed to keep my eyes on Jesus and not allow my own efforts and desires to become a distraction.  My family and I need to find our place among those who have been established by God and co-labor with them.  It is similar to Jesus asking the disciples to find a worthy person to stay with when he sent them out in Matthew 10.    We need to listen to and hold our gaze on Jesus just as intensely as we did when we heard him call us.  We will depend on him and allow him to direct our hearts. 
My family and I followed the voice of Jesus out of the boat, it seems extremely important for us to keep our eyes on the one who called us and allow His desires to become ours.  It is our desire to hurry up to be still so that we can gaze at Jesus and keep following him knowing that it is only by grace that He uses those with small faith. 

How many new parents?

This week has been amazing.  Maybe the better word is monumental.  In any case, it is a milestone.  Stephania, Timo and I are officially in St. Petersburg, FL.  We are three disciples who just want to dance in step with the music of Jesus and so we have to go where we hear it the loudest and it seems that He has led us to St. Pete.  There have been a lot of emotions, physical exhaustion, prayers, asks, and faith that has gone into this move and oddly enough there has been more joy than anything.  We look forward to pouring out our lives here.


There is one question that has been repeating in my mind this week and it’s this:  How many new parents?  I understand that I am a novice in moving in response to God’s calling(as far as new cities, states and so on is concerned) and so this may be a simple question for the seasoned church planter or missionary but for me the question has never been more real.  How many more parents?  It arises from the reality of our move and Matthew’s account of the wealthy man that approached Jesus, called Jesus “good” and then asked Jesus “what good thing must I do to inherit eternal life?”  After some dialogue Jesus tells him that he must sell everything he owns.  This was hard for the man to deal with because he was very wealthy and he “went away sad”. But there seems to be comfort towards the end of Matthew’s narrative.  The man has left sad and the disciples begin asking questions about who could be saved and Jesus answers them wisely by letting them know that, with God, anything is possible and also with this: 


…at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[e] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.


After reading this story, my first reaction was to poke fun at the wealthy man because he was so attached to his material possessions that they seemed to be worth more than eternal life.  That was until now.  I imagine the wealthy man’s possessions to be a comfort and a sign of his accomplishments.  Those types of things are hard to let go.  And from his character described in this passage he probably came about his wealth in a fair manner.  This makes it even harder to let go.  The struggle this man has dealt with has been so real this week.  We don’t really have tremendous wealth but we are three little disciples of Jesus who had spiritual fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters.  We also had small but successful and growing ministries and we led those under our leadership with love and deep affection.  Without a doubt, it is the lives that we connected with in Tampa that we miss so dearly.


This scripture is encouraging, though, especially since I believe that the kingdom of God is present, near and coming.  The promise of Jesus to gain 100 times what I left seems to be an easy trade.  To have the lives that I was connected to so dearly given back 100 times over sounds extremely exciting.  It is also troubling because that means if I leave my mother for the sake of Jesus then I will receive many more mothers but the call to leave mothers is still out there and that call would mean leaving 100 times more mothers.  My question is how many new parents?  It is a scary thing to think that God would rip me away from those I love and even scarier to think that this should be the pattern of my discipleship.  So how many new parents becomes a very important question with lifelong implications.  Is this the way of the kingdom?


But…how do you show that you have not used the people you lead as a sign of your personal accomplishment and how do you show that your comfort lies not in overt success but in your connection to the heart of God?  What is a major way to prove that you value the call of Jesus more than your wealth (in whatever form it is)?  How can you live in a way that offers everything you have to God, including your friends and family.  You give it all up.  You surrender it to Jesus.  You even give up your own life.  In doing this, you know what I have found?  You never really lose them!  You only gain more and those you leave are eternally connected, this is how the kingdom of God works!  If you are willing to move with the voice of Jesus you will find that there is an abundance of mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers given to you as a gift.  I imagine that this is what the disciples experienced when Jesus sent them out from village to village and asked them to stay with someone who would except them there.  I imagine that they did not mourn the complete loss of a relationship when they left the city but they celebrated the gain of a relationship that would more than likely last a life time.


How many new parents?  As many as God would bless us with.  God’s call for us to be in St. Petersburg has already proven to be filled with tears and joy.  We look forward to growing in love with our laboring brothers and sisters and we will always be connected to our family in Tampa.  This is the kingdom that has come.